I look forward to...

Today, I had my first one-on-one meeting with my District Superintendent Wayne Wiatt, with whom I will be working very closely with in the Candidacy process and along my journey of pursuing what God wants for me. I really liked two of the questions he asked me:

-What is your biggest anticipation?

-What is your biggest anxiety, fear, or worry?


These seam very simple, and they are. But they did require some deep, instant reflection on my part. That's why I liked them. They were thought provoking, but one of those "tell me what comes to your mind" sort of queries.

To the first question, I answered that God would show me unsearchable things. My journey will be one of experience, not knowledge or works. My biggest excitement is to see what God does. It is so awe-striking that God would use me to advance His kingdom, so that is why I am so excited about that. I am going to get to see what God does, and be used.

The second one was tougher to answer. It was very personal. My biggest worry and fear is that I will fail and miss out what God has for me. God will not miss his opportunities if I falter, but He wants to use me so that I can be changed and be a part of what He does. He desires that for everyone. My fear is that I will make mistakes that hinder my experience and my relationship with Him. I am not afraid of failure, but missing out on what God has for me.

In other news, I also got to spend the afternoon with my dad and brother, and that was so great. We went to a Braves game, and it was nice to spend time with them, it feels like it had been so long.

I meant to take pictures, whoops. Maybe next time.

Funk-y

This week is "Spring Break" (I put that in quotations because since I am not in school, I am not very much affected by it, I just don't have Wesley stuff this week) and I am finding myself in quite the lull. I say that because I find myself being lazy and apathetic, which is a dangerous place to be. I want this to change, because I do not want this attitude to spread towards other parts of my life. I want to nip this in the bud, but still seek to be rejuvenated. I think that that is important every now and again. I will not be too busy this week, just going to work, which is good.

I have applied for the Sherman Scholarship at Candler, and sent in my FASFA, so I am also eagerly awaiting those to be looked at and decisions to be made by Emory. I have a meeting with the District Superintendent, Wayne Wiatt, on Tuesday, then I will be going to a baseball game with my dad after that. I am really excited for Tuesday! For now though, I need to work my way outta this funk.

It's been a while, so a lot has happened.

It has taken me almost an entire month to get back here and document the happenings of my life, but that doesn't mean that my life has been in anyway boring or not worth writing about. I have been accepted to Candler School of Theology at Emory University in Atlanta, GA. I am going there on March 24-25 for a tour and attending the school in the fall. Such a blessing. I am also still in my candidacy process for ordination. The application process for the Sherman Scholarship for Candler and the candidacy process overlap a little bit while the district superintendent is involved in both. My application, with an essay, is due this Tuesday so I am working on explaining my call again, which is always fun to do. I have a meeting with the DS next Tuesday (the 8th). I also got my UCF diploma =)

 Here is a picture of CFL Wesley, they deserve to be somewhere in this blog

My UCF Diploma

My acceptance letter to Candler =)

God is also continuing to humble my heart, even though that is sometimes painful. All of that is God's faithfulness to me, though. That humbles me every time, that God is faithful to me. I don't have anything else really specific, this is more of a catch-up blog, so sorry!

I am continuing to pursue God in each and every way possible, and it is so satisfying; so hopeful.

Victory/Redemption

Upon my last post, I have really been focusing on the current state of my pride. It is, for the first time, diminishing. That has been my focus over the last week, and God has redeemed it. Once it happened, I starting praying and focusing on the next thing to fix in my life and my character. Thank goodness for the voices in my life, because they really directed me towards not doing that. Harrison encouraged me to take victory over it, and Andy explained that I can't "Go looking for demons". I learned that I really didn't want my pride to leave, because I felt it was my direct connection with needing God's redemption in my life. I didn't really want to give it up, and that's why it lingered, along with me trying to redeem it myself. Right now, I feel as humble as I have ever been, and that's just the beginning. Where humility begins is also where accepting God's hand in my life does. I know pride will come back and disguise itself, but I need to look at as a thorn, not a connection to needing God. I need God, I don't need my faults to be emphasized to need Him. I just do.

On another note, I had my birthday party last Saturday. It was amazing. Almost all of my friends made it, and it was just such a blessing to have everyone here. Really appreciate them. My house was pretty much packed, we debuted our new beer, ate dinner, cake, played games, and just enjoyed each other.
Here is my living room during it:

I also spent my first afternoon last Monday at Valencia Community College passing out popsicles and answering questions about Wesley if people asked. Sarah ended up having two deep conversations with students, and one ended up coming to Wesley the next day. It was no ordinary Tuesday, as we spend the whole time in prayer for each other. So powerful, and an example of simply following the Spirit to meet the needs of the people there. We ended up getting kicked off of campus because we didn't ask permission or become a Registered Student Organization at VCC yet, and I didn't mind. Sorta rebelish. God is going to a lot there, and we know that.

Yesterday I went to Universal/IOA with Aubrey, Sarah H.,Bobby, Dave, Kyle D., Kate Walter, Kate Allen and Chris Clubbs. It was honestly the best day I have ever had there. Saying a lot, since I have been a handful of times recently. The value of having friends, old and new, impact your life the way they have mine is quite the blessing, and I truly need it.

Here is a picture of us at Bubba Gump's after a long day of playing, sans Kyle:

Randomness/Humilty

Humility is always on my mind. It has been for the last 2 years, since God revealed it to me as a major issue in my life. I frequently catch myself with an underlying motivation to be seen as someone who gives good advice, is Godly, is a great friend, etc, for the wrong reasons. I want to be elevated among my peers and among my mentors, and that is not good. I have been "working" on this for the last 2 years or so. It is only now that I have seen a vast, incredible improvement in this area. Not because I have "worked" on it, but because God has redeemed it. I think I have become a better brother, son, friend, and follower of Jesus, because I follow Jesus so much closer. God has shown me that walking with Him naturally humbles me, and that is why my pride is diminishing. I see what God is doing; I know God better, by walking closer to Him. Not because I improved for Him, but because I am following Him. It is so humbling to know that God does not want me to try and be better, He wants me to be faithful. Everything else will follow suit. Sometimes this seems elementary, but I just can't afford to forget it or diminish the value of this happening in my life right now.

Also, me and some friends, Brandon, Shannon, Jordan, Alyssa, and Nathan, and Aubrey's friend Ben, went to Aubrey's grandparents condo in New Smyrna this Sunday-Monday since they had it off of school. We got to Publix and got food for dinner and dessert--salmon, mashed potatoes, green beans, broccoli, bread, and stuff to make banana pudding--and dinner was so good. Pretty much the best meal I have ever had cooked by college students. We went to the jacuzzi, watched "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" and "Monsters, Inc.", went to Breakers, and walked on the beach. It was such a random 24-hr vacation and I was very appreciative of it, and I had so much fun with them.

God is just letting me enjoy my time here, I feel. This was another episode of that. I am so thankful that He wants me to remember this time, and He is giving me so much reason to.

View from the balcony--14th story up

Some of us pigging out on Banana Pudding. We had to eat it before we left. There was sooo much.

Also, I am 23 now. Yay! I was really happy to have dinner with my parents tonight. I just love going home and seeing them. I am also excited to have a party tomorrow night. So thankful!

Abandon; Surrender

This last week or so, I have really been concentrating on the idea of abandonment and surrender. These words came to me from the song "The Stand" by Hillsong during prayer time at the CFL Wesley Leadership Retreat last weekend.  The lyrics really caught my attention.

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

The idea of abandoning my heart is one that I struggle with because I believe God has given my own heart, and abandoning it would be dishonoring Him. I think that, instead, God has given me His heart, and I need to abandon my own to embrace His. Similarly, surrendering my soul, my being, my self, is something that forces me to become more aligned with what God is doing inside of me. These are things that are completely difficult for me, but God is not concerned with that. Neither am I. John 3:30 comes to mind: He must become greater; I must become less.

Also, God taught me last weekend that growing is not about becoming more like yourself; it is not finding your own identity. God calls us to become more like Him; to follow Him. Certainly a revelation for me. I am a unique person, and that will still come out as I seek Him, follow Him, and strive for His will.

I really had a great weekend with old and new faces on the Leadership weekend, and God really showed me a lot. I even had possibly the best one-on-one "prayer and share" (copyright Jack Ladd, 2011) time with someone ever. I am excited to be interning over the next 6-7 months.

On a side note, we bottled and our first batch of beer this afternoon here at The Dugout. Here it is, with the first bottle in front. Should be ready to drink in 2 weeks.

Emory/NC week

Last Wednesday morning Bobby, Hudson, and I drove up to Atlanta to go visit Greg and see Emory in town. We visited downtown that night, then went to Shoguns and to visit Emory. I really liked the campus. Every building is made of granite or marble and the campus is quite beautiful. I could definitely picture myself being there, even if it would require a major adjustment from UCF. Here are some of the pictures of the campus.

After the visit, we headed up to Aubrey's cabin in Penrose, NC and spent the rest of the week there with 9-10 other friends. It was a really good week. I really did enjoy spending time away with people that I love being with. I also enjoyed hanging out with new people, I think that was the highlight of my trip. I just love meeting new people and spending time getting to know them. This trip really reminded me that I have a family of friends that are a blessing to my life. We also prayed and worshiped together; we prayed for someone in need, and that was another highlight. This trip was also bittersweet. I know that I am going to move on later this year, and it made me a little sad to realize that. However, God is giving me time to spend with the people I love, and that is such a blessing. These next 7-8 months will be very meaningful to me. Here are some images from the time we spend in NC:

 

If you want to look at more of the beautiful pictures and my friends, here is my album on facebook: Emory/NC